Daily Skittle

well having lived in Oklahoma the past year and then moving back to GA I have to say that there is a big difference in the cultures. The south is very racist! I thought that hubby [who is black] would like living in the south because there are more people down here that are like him but after living in Oklahoma where I swear there are no black people to be found he actually prefers to live in America's Heartland. Being in a interracial relationship you begin to see more couples like yourself that you didn't really know existed. Since I've driven from GA to OK and back again I can testify that people are not going to harm you for driving with a black man. I think Damian is overreacting. I can see his concern but if you are going to be in a interracial relationship you must be proud of yourself and your significant other. People may stare, people may say stuff behind your back but you just stare right back and smile. They can't do anything to you and if they tried I'm sure Damian would whoop some bootay on your behalf.

Hubby has a few choice words to say that will probably not help ya'lls situation at all, so here goes...

 

btw, hubby might cuss when he comments, don't take it personally he just gets really heated about this topic. That is just how he talks, no offense to you.

 

oh shit we have hit the motherload. let me first start by saying, dont be offended by anything that i say and how i say it, my word are what they are and i dont do any editting. straight, no filter from the mind to the mouth or in this case, the keyboard.
let me touch on a few points that you asked and i will answer. the problem is not that we are removed from the civil war, but that we, the people in the south; especially the stated you guys are traveling through, experienced the civil war. through those times, before and after, racism has been a key issue.
now lets fast forward to the future, we have interracial dating and marriage. a beautiful thing. i think our kids will change the world. it wont be someone who is black or white but someone who is multiracial who will change the way people think because they will come with a completly different perspective, no motives or agendas, just pure humanity. we cant experience that now nor in the near future.
he has a right to have a fear. our generation is more open to looking at mixing races but the older generation...dont get me started on that shit. ive said it before and i mean it from my heart. if you hate, kill yourself. if your a racist, you should be dead. and im not saying that to be ugly im saying to state that as long as that poison is in society, its like a virus. once it sets in, it will spread. spread from either friend to friend or parent to child and it will never leave. which is where we are today, again.
you dont get stopped by police for driving while being white. but just the opposite, he will get a DWB in a heartbeat.
you know the looks that you get while your out with your man, it is unmistakably evil and mean spirited. thats just georgia, as you said. now magnify that coming from 2 states where they still hang black people from trees, where they drag black men behind cars, where young adults get beat to sleep for dating a white girl, and more importantly, where the racist attitude, demeanor, behavior, and culture is so far instilled into their way of life that boy, nigga, coon, honky, cracker, and words like it are still a part of their everyday vocabulary...
let him drive, you stay home. for both of your safety and well being.
this is why i hate the south.

 

let me respond to my wife just a tad too.
i love my wife to death, but im sure your thinking the same thing that she is...because your white.
yall dont understand. your perspectives comes from a COMPLETELY different cultures. im so glad that you were open enough to date and settle out side of your "race" but dont just do that, learn and understand the entire culture.
yes we get stares and get whispers. you guys just stare back or try to ignore it...i get so frustrated that i just want to throw something at them or flip them off. not because im a bitter bitch or have anger issue, well i do, but one would think that eventually theyll get over it, but they dont.
and fyi, we drove from Ok to GA BEHIND the uhaul. when we went out to eat, you should have seen the looks, and these were from black people in Memphis. there have been only 2 cities where i felt comfortable enough to raise my family and those are Chattannoga Tennessee and Owasso Oklahoma.
did i mention that i hate the south?

 

I think it's sad that it is still an issue. But, having been raised in the South, and having had older (born in the late 1800's) family members who were VERY racist (it honestly was the way of life for them, they truly did not know better), I know it's a very real issue in this part of the country. But I agree with you...if you are committed to being together, he has to learn to deal with it--no matter where you are. I would go if I were you, maybe you'll even be pleasantly surprised! There is still racism, but there are so many people who have come a long way! :)

 

I've lived in SC and NC and you know, honestly, it is my opinion that no one would harm you. I couldn't guarantee that they might not look at you twice but not in a mean way. I think you'd be pretty safe. For the most part people are friendly and understanding. There really is racism everywhere you go -- sadly. That being said, you are a VERY attractive couple! : )

 

I'm a 23 year old white female that is married to a 25 year old white male...so I have absolutely no authority on this subject. But hey, I'll throw my two cents in anyway. ;o)

Where to begin:

My gut tells me that nothing would happen to either of you other than a few ugly looks and possibly some harsh words. BUT, Damian being the man (and protector) that he is, he is concerned for your safety (not so much his own). Although I know he was definitely "whoop some bootay on your behalf," as Heather so eloquently put it, he probably doesn't want to have to. And can you really blame him?

That being said, if the two of you plan to stay together, get married, whatever...I'm sure you will be traveling together alot. You don't want to always feel like you can't ride together; you can't always be "looking over your shoulder"...that's no way to live.

Sadly, there are many, many ignorant folks' in the world who are either too stupid or too close minded to accept interracial dating. It's really their loss.

 

I've been all through the South, and the North, and lots of other places. My opinion: The South is still downright medieval in its outlook on race. (Not everybody in the South, of course, but enough so that it is still noticable.) If it were me, I'd skip this little road trip out of an abundance of caution. Most probably, you'd both be fine, but it would depend on who you come across on the trip.

I've not been around there in a few years, so my view may (hopefully) be a little dated.

Also, I am green, and I only get stares because of all the feathers.

 

I'm a Mississippi boy. I'll probably be waiting for you to cross the line so I can give you a dirty look or some bad words. Ok, I probably won't. But Mississippi isn't a bad state, can't be much worse than Georgia.

 

I'm in Boston, so I don't really have any say in how people from the south will react. However, my girlfriend is white, and I'm not. I'm actually asian.. so I have to deal with it more from my parents than from anyone outside. I know how tough it can be, and I have to defend myself all the time to them. It's not easy but its something you can make it through.

 

let me fart this out from a black perspective...stop it. dont pacify thing with not stating the issue. yes, your going to get looks, yes you will get whispers, and yes you will get words you can hear. we are talking about a road trip. this ONE!
im sorry matt but please go and watch mississippi burning please. while your at it, "eyes on the prize" is a series about how blacks have been and are treated on a daily basis.
now while your watching any of those, you can listen to "stragne fruit", by billie holiday. that one in particular pertains to both alabama and mississippi.
then do a little research on how many lenchings, swamp baths and tar-n-feather events took place right in your neighborhood.
im not stating this to be ugly, im stating that to make a point on how naive the average white person is to the plight of african americans.
i am saying for your own safety, you have to travel through 3 dedeeply embedded racist states. do not do this.
you want to pick your battle and ride another time, great, do it then. but not through the bible/red-neck belt.
dont try and talk him out of it, he is speaking from a completely justifiable perspective. you cant relate or even fathom what and why he is saying what he's saying because you just dont, and cant know.
dont let me read about you in the newspaper or online about how some good ole' boys going on a joy ride sees the two of you and wants to have some fun with you and their shotgun.
and fyi, if you plan on taking a detour through tennessee, thats where the KKK was started, that would be a hell no.
dont be that girl...

 

Wow. That's all just unbelievable. Way up in Canada, nobody would even notice you in a car together, eating out together, whatever. You can make out on the sidewalk and that would probably be fine.

It's so sad that even now, it's even something to consider. :(

Good luck! I hope you figure something out.

Hey, you can always take a road trip to Montreal.. It's only about a 24 hour drive. :D

 

Wow... I just read all the comments and now I'm not sure what you should do either. I'm with your sis... you can't forever look over your shoulder and at the same time you should be careful and sometimes listen to your man. I don't know. Good luck with all that. Love you!!!

 

I read this post a couple of times as I was kind of shocked that it is even an issue these days - here we would not look twice at who is with who unless it were Brad and Angelina walking on by. Really cannot get my head around the fact that people are so racist about the colour on ones skin.